I Should Tell You
by Triskell
Summary: RENT: another slashy drabble Mark/Roger story inspired by Kait's LJ icon set.


Title: I SHOULD TELL YOU  
Author: Triskell (ferngully_at@yahoo.com)  
Fandom/Pairing: RENT (Mark/Roger -- slash)  
Rating: PG-13  
Disclaimer: RENT and all associated characters are the creation of the late Jonathan Larson. I intend no copyright infringement by their use.

AN: a short story as a series of drabbles (100 word snippets) inspired by Kait and her gorgeous LJ icons; I have put Kait's phrases _in italics_ within each drabble and you'll find a list of all sayings at the end.

  
  


I SHOULD TELL YOU  
© Triskell, 11 April 2003

  
**1 ~ Mark ~**  
I watch you as you stand alone.  
A silent guardian -- untouchable --  
the one who lost, her lover, at her grave.  
But did you know that _every time I'm close to you_  
I want to reach out, slowly, just one touch  
to tell you that you'll never need to be alone?  
And _there's too much I can't say_,   
too many reasons for my silence, self-imposed.  
I protect you from my love,  
and you protect me from the world.   
You call me weak, you say I hide.   
And _I have a smile stretched from ear to ear_  
To bear your unwitting rejection.

**2 ~ Roger**  
_I grieve -- in my condition_ there's  
little else to do. Her death is mine and   
I can imagine what it's like _to see you  
walking down the road_ after the funeral.  
I won't know how it feels to tear your   
heart out; but I'll remember always that  
I took more than one moment's laughter   
from your eyes, never to bubble up again.  
You saw me through each doubt, a pebble  
on the beach _on this island of hope_  
you built for me, to let _my sea_ rest gently,  
anchored _to your shore_.   
My grief is that I dare not love.

**3 ~ Mark ~**  
I wait till you get home, as always,   
though I cannot ask you where you've been.  
I wait, 'cause _night's too long and cold_  
_here without you_ and there is no one who   
could take your place. You are the one I   
dream of and I wish we'd never met.   
I call to you each time I speak _and you_  
_just walk away_ because the love you   
wanted has been taken. And now she rests  
beneath the trees and grass in beautiful,  
poetic solitude. I shiver while her cold arms   
close around you, draw you down --  
embracing your own death.

**4 ~ Roger ~**  
I knew you'd wait. You should not _for I cannot_  
_find the words to say I need you so_.   
I cannot ask you why you love me, because   
I should not know. I should not read your eyes  
so easily, I should not feel your every breath   
as if I were the one to draw it.  
"_Let me surround you_."   
"_Let me be the calm you seek_."  
Let me write songs to tell you how I feel,  
let me paint smiles onto your face --   
put the spark back into your tired eyes.  
I leave again -- you follow me -- I smile.

**5 ~ Mark ~**  
_We meet at the lights, I stare for awhile_  
and suddenly _the world around us disappears_   
and in the twilight, under streetlights in a park   
_it's just you and me_. _A breath between _  
_us could be smiles_ and yet you pull me close   
into the warmth and comfort of your arms, and   
when I look at you, your face is serious and calm.   
Your kiss is heat and passion -- I submit, I let go --   
no more fears -- I drift, and fly. _And_ only much later do   
I realise that _I forgot to tell you_ just how much _I love you_.

  
1 ~ Mark ~  
//every time I'm close to *you*//  
//there's too much I can't say//  
//I have a *smile* stretched from ear to ear//

2 ~ Roger ~  
//I grieve in my condition//  
//to see you walking down the road//  
//on this island of hope//  
//my sea to your shore//

3 ~ Mark ~  
//night's too long and cold here without you//  
//and you just walk away//

4 ~ Roger ~  
//for I cannot find the words to say I need you so//  
//let me surround you//  
//let me be the calm you seek//

5 ~ Mark ~  
//we meet at the lights I stare for awhile//  
//the world around us disappears//  
//it's just you and me//  
//a breath between us could be smiles//  
//and I forgot to tell you I love you//


End file.
